it's been a long time
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everytime i'm near him i just want to lay my head on his shoulder and have him tell me that everything is gonna be alright.the more i want to be around him the more i feel that he has a great distaste for me. then i feel worse. if feeling pretty means that eventually i will feel ugly then i would rather feel nothing at all. because the sickness comes from within. the outside slowly fades and the horrible ness inside me seeps out. parts that noone can see. i dont want them to see i dont want to let them in because what if they hate it. it's a deep rooted fear. dating back through childhood and never squashed by love.
is it really as simple as unwanted while in the womb?
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i read this: sleep- |