i think something is wrong with the way my brain works... i just dont want to succed in life. so i sabatoge it.. i'm listening to the song that jessica rabbit sang in who framed roger rabbit. did you know that the woman who sang her song was amy irving? i think she went out with steven speilberg. but i know she was in 13 conversations about one thing.

today i loafed and then found out that i only have 30 bucks in the bank.. till not this next friday but the friday after that.... aaarrrgggghhhh!!! i guess it is a good thing i bought a lot of spagetti... i went to see 8 mile... oh lordy how it rocked... kim basinger acts almost exactlly how thatboys mom acts.. as in one time she got with this 14 year old kid.. i',m not going to go into it.

did i say that my parents are really pushing me to join the peace corps? i definatly need to do something with my life.. what i really need to do is set my clock back to waking upin the morning instead of afternoon.. i just feel so drained and out of it and useless.... why?? why?? why?? is this what being in your early 20's is like? because i see a lot of other people and they look like they have their shit together. i cant even download gypsy by fleetwood mac correctly. i feel the need for somekind of catalyst. but do i really need one... i've been calling thatboy a scrub but i'm one aswell... who the fuck knows any thing.... on buffy she was getting psychoanalized by a vampire she used to go to school with and he said you have a superiority complex and an inferiority complex about that.... hmmmmm sound fimilliar? except i am far from the chosen one.

oh yeah, today i put on this lipsick that doesnt come of.. you know.. all day lall night... blah blah blah... well i decided to take it off and it wouldnt come off. so i tries witch hazel and that didnt work so i put some noxema on and that didn't work so i took an old toothbrush and scrubed... and that worked but now my lips are a red rawness that hurts all the time... stings too. and i need to apply chapstick every 2 mins..... why do i fuck everything up?