i have the deep seeded urge to listen to smashing pumpkins...... mostly siamese dream but i'm uploading everything i like from mellon collie.....

i'm going to pay my bills tomarrow. yes i fucking am!

i must be really fucking depressed... i mean it. something totally broke in me the other night... i began thinking about all of these things that would bug me that i never thought would bug me.... like living with 2 fucking guys... fuck no! i dont really want to live with anyone... i'm fucking weird...

i feel fucked up right now... i just know that it is late but i'm not tired..... i feel almost as if -------- or something who the fuck knows... somewhere someone i come into contact with is in horrible pain... it must be them because even though i'm all sorts of sad and shit i now dont feel that bad.