today i found a jacket at the library... it kicks ass.... it smells a little... i'm gonna wash it.

i need to grow the fuck up...i felt so old when i was in high school and now i feel so older than that but i dont feel grown..... i dont know what path i want to be on... where i want to go in life.

i got my first kurt vonnegut book today... actually i got three. cats cradle, god bless you , mr. rose water, and breakfast of champions. they came all together and it was only 4 bucks i'm only into cats cradle a few pages but i'm really really enjoying it. the dude at pegasus is really cute... i think his name is tim i wouldnt have put the book down but there were movies to see.

i twisted my hair and brought it down and everything. i liked the results... it might be my new thing this week... its really easy and it gives me a change of hair. without cutting or dying... i dont think it really damages it at all. it gives it that just back from the beach look ... not really...

girls girls girls girls girls i do adore. i like jay -z he's got catchy songs

i think that life is less paranoid now.... i need little freak outs to keep me sane... but i swear that last time was horrible. something is broken i dont think its my heart this time..... i wasnt into anyone,..... i think its my mind.

i hate him so fucking much but i dont think i could be with out him i dont even hate him i hate what i felt after and it was so fucking long ago... fucking years and years but i think what i've relized is that in the long run it really really fucked me in the head. and it totally shouldn have there were other factors that i just dont feel like getting into right here.

i am so fucking stupid for so many reasons.

today i saw a dude that i went to elementry school with... i hang out some with his sister but we never really kicked it because i left the school after 4th and then never really saw anyone from there but we still recognize eachother... its weird seeing people from your past.

i wish you could wear slips everywhere. sometimes i want to wear slips over my jeans... i might do that tomarrow... if i have good dreams and wake up happy.

my optomatrist hates me.

i downloaded the only crispin glover song i could find on fucking lime wire... i want more!!!!!!!!

do i want to drive around with keyon or go to s.f. by myself tomarrow.... the obvious answer is keyon but i have to go to the city.... i need to enroll in school before london.... that is my goal. before london so if i die on the plane i will have died a enrolled collage student. its like one of those things that i talk down to myself about that i CAN actually change with out totally embarassing my self.

truly all i want is to lay down at creasent fresh or ohlone and read this book.

i need to wake up and relize what a great person i am and then life will be good........ possibly maybe

if you live in berkeley go to great china near the california theater it is one of the best chinese resturants in the area! a little expensive but well worth it. they are really nice people too.... ooohhhhh i suddenly crave ice water

this entry seems totally and compleately random

thats me though... when i let myself not care.