we lived our lives in fear!
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i had crazy dreams last night. i remember a huge black tornado comming twords my town i could see it out my window.... i was in a huge glass sky scraper. for some reason i needed to go out to see it.... there were wolves in it and it looked almost painted... i woke up needing to pee..... then i went back to sleep and was in this huge apartment building visiting a friend... up the way i see thatboy and he is with a girl in one of the apartments.... i start screaming at him... I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I FUCKING HATE YOU! .... it felt very good to say it was a terifying and liberating feeling... i woke up happy.. as if he now has no control over me... i think i might have finally broken out of his spell.i really want to be chief of staf at my theater. i 'm however pretty sure i wont get it. i think andrew will get it... it makes me really sad because i can see that he doesnt want a career in theaters... and i wouldnt mind one. i want to move up..... i have been thinking about becomming a waitress as well.. i need to get full time work this summer because of stupid fucking gray davis and his stupid budget cuts... .. i wish i could just live a simple life... not wanting or neediing anything. i dont think that will ever happen though.
i feel really old today. old and irresponsible
i wish i could just make a living off of looking at cute guys.
aaaaahhhhh ha ha ha that would be nice.. like the dude at berkeley bowl... both of them .....
sometimes i think that if i lost 100 pounds people would aoutomaticly love me.
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i read this: sleep- |