am i really here?
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i feel like i havent been me for a very long time. i feel weird and i dont know if it is the large in comparason ammount of caffine that i had or if it is the fact that i havent taken my medication today. it might be both. it has been a really interesting week. mercury is in retrograde... retracing its steps. reviewing your life... i went to a bar last sat and then to nations for one of their scrum diddly uptious cheese sandwiches.... while i was there i saw a girl i havent sen in 12 years.... its funny becaue i think about her a lot and i have often wondered what she was up to. she is going into broadcasting ab=nd taking classes at s.f. state. she still lives in the house that she lived in when we were friends. it was an emotional momment. i think it was 2 30 in the morning and we were both a little drunk.... we hugged several times and i was so happy to see her.... i kept telling her " remember when we used to listen to the beach boys... surfer girl.... and dance around your living room? and she said remember we used to play barbies at your house? it was a very emotionaly satisfying momment.i have decided that i am going to become an emt... i'm really excited!!
today at work i had a very good conversation with a co worker. lets just say if i could get him i n a dark room and forget how much i hate myself i think we could have a lot of fun. a lot of fun......
i think i have like 20 papers to do this semester... which is funny because i only have 2 classes but i feel helpless and alone when it comes to school so i wish i just didnt have to go.... why cant i be interested in what i do?
it has been about a year since i have had sex and i think i'm getting ready to start again....
i have a date on wed. but i dont think the guy is very interested... i think i anoy him.... he did say yes though..... i dont even know now. my head is filled with images of guys and i cant really choose anyonve tham... i'm gonna smoke a cigarette and take a shower... hpefully then i will be tired enough to go to sleep.
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i read this: sleep- |