fat ass bitch
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living in the bay area is nice... you know when it gets rainy you need to wear warm clothes. lots of layers, and possibly bring an umbrella.... here in HAWAII (hehehehehe) none of that is true. it is fucking pouning outside. i'm wearing a skirt, flip-flops, and a tank top. it is hot steamy and i'm looking out over our balcony at the beach across the street. 34 floors below..... we are so high up i am almost to scared to go to the railing.today is my mothers birthday. 55! whoooo hooo!!!!!!
yesterday at my outcry of "shotgun" as we were walking twords the car she decides to spring.... " why are you so inconsiderate? so spoiled? so me,me,me?
later after i told her that we needed to talk she told me that all of my family is scared of me... that they dont want me to be angry so they just give in to my selfish desires..... hhhhmmmmmm.........
i think she is just trying to back up her feelings..... not that i dont understand them... some of what she says is true. but i cant picture my sis and bro actually scared of me.... i'm a total wuss.
backtracking a little bit. the day we rode the 38 miles down from the volcano our gide was handing out rain gear and i told him huge..... you know how over the top guides can be.... you have to joke around with them to make them happy. he repeted huge and that was all of the conversation that my mom heard. she procedded to go to him in the office and tell him that it was not ok for him to say things like that and that i must be really hurt and he was a jerk and blah blahblah blah... i apreciate the sentiment but i swear to god, an adult who relies on our money to make a living would not be calling me (a customer) a fat asss...i mean this dude lives on fucking maui... with samoans!!!!!!!!!!! and some of them are huge. i'm sure if you called a samoan a fat ass s/he would kick your fucking ass to the curb she came over to me and told me ( with tears in her eyes) what she had done. what do you say to that... jeeze mom you are such a dumb ass... why do you always have to embarras me. no .... or how about ... thanks mom you did the right thing that will teach that abusive asshole..... no ..... i told her that i could fight my own battles and her thinking i was being wronged doesnt mean that i was being wronged.if she wants me to be independant then she needs to let me fight my own battles. but thanks you for the thought. aaaarrrrgggggg.... so later the next day when she is telling me that everyone is afraid of me i tell her that she makes me feel like a fat tub of lard.... she always has to be up in my face about my body... making little mentions. saying when you walk you loose so much weight... what am i supposed to tell her.... yeah mom about that... well the actual reason i was loosing so much weight was because i had a very very bad coke habit... yeah... that sounds like a good one. fuck gotta go..... birthday celebration.
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i read this: sleep- |