why do i always wake up feeling puffy?

my eyes feel like i cried all night, was i crying in my sleep? i drempt of boats in deep deep still water. eel-snakes moving around in rectangles as fast as cars. hiding. child sized. i think i was happy for part of it. once again i woke up sad.

last night the cal screened Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind it was amazing. everyone in the world should see it. the writting is good. and the set design and directing is awesome. i have a problem with the ending. not really how it ends. i like that . but i think charlie kaufman has ending issues. i didnt like the ending of adaptation that much either. , not that i didnt like how it ended . and i can apreciate that it was the brothers ending. but it just felt thrown together. so does eternal sunshine. it just feels thrown together. it takes the romantic comedy formula. and twists th middle. i would watch this movie at least 5 times. i would even pay all five times.

i need to learn how to give people my all without giving away my heart. .

i think once i learn that i will be a happier person.

lastnight as i was tring to force myself to sleep i kept droning "all i want is someone i like to like me best."