it was weird a really kick ass bathroom though. if i ever have tons of money i'm gonna design a bathroom like it.

i have decided that i have to become more spacific about what i want in life. it is time.

keyon and i were talking. i was talking about a new crush i have developed. he said " i think i've figured out your type. skinny white a bit nerdy, with a large nose. " i couldntr believe he said that. i called him on the nose part. he could only name 2 guys with large noses that i have had crushes on. but even including the nose he had a loose discription of my dad, weird. freud kicking me in the ass.

i am delierious with tiredness. i feel good though. it has been a good few days. i have accepted the fact that i am attracted to gregory and he will never be attract=ed to me. i have also accepted the fact that i totally like him as a person and enjoy his company. so hopefully i will stop freaking out whan i see him with girls that he looks really cute with.

yeah, i can try.

i have developed 3 new crushes to take the empty place in my heart and since they are just begining have tons of hope for all of them.

i have decided to stop eating cheese. and only eat dairy products like milk and organic whole milk yogurt.

oh, i almost forgot.

i relized that everytime i fall in love with someone. they end up finding someone that they really like and end up leaving me i out in the cold. so i have decided to love myself and then i will find someone to love, that and just become really really easy.

haha

i've been looking really cute lately. i dont really think so but i have been getting odd comments from various co- workers. i cut up a few shirts "punk rock" style and have been washing my hair with pantene. really i think it is just because i have been making an effort to smile more.

actually i have never felt so gross. sweaty and greasy and zity.

i got my car. honda civix ex, black, 4 dorr, automatic. the ex means it comes with a moon roof. cd player. i'm stoked. i havent gotton to drive it yet though. i can't wait.

i like the sun. i mean like direct sunshine. it is sooo beautiful.

i have nick named may, mayberry bluestick. i like it. it rolls off the tounge nicely.