let me start with yesterday. i worked at the theater seven hours and then dropped off an application at body time. they are hiring part time and it looks like a cool place to work. then i came home and bummed around for a while thinking i should shower but not doing it. then keyon got home and got ready. we went to tomio's b-day/ year sober party. it was nice. a huge mix of people. lelie was there with his gal and christina am meiko. theater people.. it was nice to see everyone. then we went to newguy's house. he lives pretty far away. but it only took like.......30 min.......we get there and it is a total sausage fest. in the sense that the only girl over 18 was me.... newguy's high school aged sister had a bunch of friends over though. i think i jjust started the night off weird though. maybe i shouldnt have even gone.......... we get there and i'm thinking cigarette. because i dont like smoking in my car anymore. and so i immediately go outside. i go to the hammock in the corner because i didnt get to sit in it last time and proceede to smoke. but then he comes out side... and i think ... whoops huge faux pas.... i should have chatted a bit first....

honestly i dont even feel like writting about this anymore.... basicly the night ended well... i think.... i was trying to figure out why he didnt like the bends and my theory was that he had never been depressed for a long period of time. ..... he was like, " i dont want to talk about that" or something a long the lines of " shut up bitch, your to nosey" so there was a point against me... and then keyon kissed him. i suppose that could go either way. i just cant read him. i know that ......... when i got hime i texed him " i want you to have my children" which is true.... he is just such a good guy.... so sweet and gentalmanly and amazing, smart, funny, talented, everytime i am around him i just want to get to know him better. but cancers are secretive and scorpios are information witholders. so i think that he would ultimately just drive me insane.

i relize now that " i want you to have my babies" dose sound quite insane in it self..... maybe by next wweek things will be better. mercury goes direct on the second.