i think i am going to try to go back on meds. this plan wil be put into action next week as i feel like i need the weekend to get ready. i feel lost and depressed. i hate everyone and everything but i dont want to be alone..... i'm not sure what is wrong but i dont remember ever feeling this melencholy... maybe it is the repercutions of thatboy leaving his girl and relizing that he truly dosen't want me. he wants a girl that will supply him with drugs and drive him around... a girl easily molded the way he wants. a girl who doensn't know she is being molded. my nails are shorter but crooked. painted the way i want them to be painted... red but with white tips... but slightly chipping.....

i think it's funny how perfectly it molds my life. good looking from afar... when you don't know all of the details. but close up a total mess... today in cleaned all of my dishes because the smell was getting to me.

i wish i was in love ...bumping into things...not just crushing on someone that i have no chance at getting... at least when you love someone you cant have you don't relize it because you are blinded by love.... i've been eating popcorn and drinking soda when i know i should be not eating popcorn and drinking water..... something please save me.

Save Me

(Aimee Mann)

Verse 1:

You look like a perfect fit

For a girl in need of a tourniquet

Chorus 1:

But can you save me

Come on and save me

If you could save me

From the ranks of the freaks

Who suspect they could never love anyone

Verse 2:

'Cause I can tell

You know what it's like

The long farewell of the hunger strike

Chorus 2:

But can you save me

Come on and save me

If you could save me

From the ranks of the freaks

Who suspect they could never love anyone

Bridge:

You struck me dumb like radium

Like Peter Pan or Superman

Chorus 3:

You will come to save me

C'mon and save me

If you could save me

From the ranks of the freaks

Who suspect they could never love anyone

'Cept the freaks

Who suspect they could never love anyone

But the freaks

Who suspect they could never love anyone

Chorus 4:

C'mon and save me

Why don't you save me

If you could save me

From the ranks of the freaks

Who suspect they could never love anyone

Except the freaks

Who suspect they could never love anyone

Except the freaks who could never love anyone