gin talking
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i feel really really shitty right now. really shitty. maybe it is because i totally suck or maybe it is because i 'm half drunk. which in my opinion is the worst kind. you wake up hungover but you dont have the fuzzy good feeling of carelessness. i guess there were cool points to my day. i spent most of the day bored out of my mind. but that boy told me i smelled good. this cute young boy lay atop me and it was warm an fuzzy. i found out that c really rocks in the music department. i talked with dude and dont feel weird around him anymore. i saw satin rouge which was good but i expected more.sometimes i just wish i didnt need people so much.... because mostly i feel really needy. i need people around me ... but i dont always want to deal with the whole person... i just feel really judgemental about people. but i think it is because i judge myself really hard...really hard so i do it to other people. i need to fix that i just dont know where to start....
i keep myself down because i dont think i desere happiness.
its funny sometimes because i dont always act like i hate myself but most of the ime i really really do.
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i read this: sleep- |