the party fucking rocked!!!!!!!!!! it was awesome! i was very very afraid. everyone loved my skirt except i kept getting " you sorta look like you belong on little house on the prarie, lastday saloon, a mexican wedding, a traditional mexican folk dance, " most of the people dressed up i was very pleased. noone bad showed. noone started any fights nothing caught on fire.

i got my first aide certification. and my cpr medical care provider.... scary. i have enrolled in school and just need to take more driving lessons. i guess this EMT thing is really going to happen... hold me i'm scared....

i relized that i no longer have a bestfriend. it was keyon but some level of him is getting sick of me. i still love him i just ..... he isnt there for me. not like i want him to be. i wonder if i have gotten more needy or if he has gotten less understanding to my plight.

i asked a gal from another theater to go shopping with me in the city. i think it will be fun because i like her a lot she is like the sister i never had.

she is friends with pothead. she told me that he thought my messege to him asking him to "maybe hang out some time" was weird. what the fuck is that? i decided he is egotistical.

i mean .... you don't make a mix tape for someone you aren't at least interested in as a friend, right? i asked him to hang out. now to me that was hanging out and getting too know him so i could relize if i really liked him. because i dont even know the fucker. i was hoping that he could also find out if he was interested in me. however, the wording was a hanging out not a date, yet he jumped to the conclusion of being weirded out about it ....... whatever. then he had the .... what have you.... to write me back today not saying anything about hanging out but " sorry i couldnt go to your party. hope it was fun. next time my place." what the fuck is he trying to do? i think the reason nice guys finish last is because they are wishy washy bags of shit. who cant just be blunt about things.

that and i think that the only time we can relate is when he is drrunk. ouch to me.

so i believe that i wash my hands of him. if it happens it happens. ssshhhiiiit.

i'm frustrated with work... frustrated!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!