i saw chris like 5 times today. i even called his work once but hung up after the first ring because the butter flies in my stomache were making me feel icky.

i am such a fucking chicken. i just dont want to do anything to upset this beautiful balance that i have.

he is just so cute. even if he dyes his gray away and has sweat stains on his jacket.

i just get all nervouse and awkward. aarrrrgggghhhhh.... action must take place.

but then will i just be even more depressed?

i've come up with a few diffrent things to say .

"hey chris, if i was gonna ask you out, would that make being around you akward later?"

" hey chris, i was thinking we could go out somewhere sometime so i could get to know you better."

"hey, i could love you, in the biblical sense."

"hey , um, yeah bye"